Don't be afraid of losing someone who doesn't feel lucky to have you
and always stand behind your word.
The strangest thing happened to me last night…and it makes me think that if I wasn't head strong or a person of my word, it could have turned into a regretful night.
Being single in your twenties is a lot different than your thirties...for me at least. I think in your twenties you feel more free, and adventurous. In your thirties, you are more guarded and hopefully have grown to make safer decisions.
I went through a horrible breakup with my ex-husband. It's been four years since then and I finally feel ready to open myself to a relationship. For someone special in my life. I've re-directed the thought process and over analyzed myself--being the person I am, this is what happens, and opened myself up to more then just a bedroom companion.
So here I am, talking to a few men and getting to know them. One seemed to stand out. He was smart, owns his own business and has three daughters. He and I were on the same page when it came to relationships and it honestly shocked me that it seemed so easy. Normally, I would have tried to dissect him, but the new me, trying to be open, just went with it. For the first time I didn't over think anything and didn't have any expectations. After a week of great conversation, flirting and sharing about our lives, we decide to meet.
I went to a friends for dinner that night. She has this holiday dinner every year. We ate, drank, smoked and enjoyed the company. When the time came to meet up with him, I was so nervous. But a good nervous, like excited to see if we could vibe as well as we did on the phone.
Since I had a few drinks, he wanted to meet me closer then my hometown, which I understood. He came out to the the town I was at and we met up at a gas station to talk for a few minutes and allow the buzz to go away, even though I told him I wasn't as buzzed as he thought I was.
We parked our cars and to think back on it now, it was like my intuition knew something was off before I did. Reason being, I would have normally parked and hopped in his car to sit and talk. But this time, I never left my car. I made him come to my car.
It all started pretty normal. Him talking about his day and asking me how the dinner went. About ten minutes into the conversation, he reached over, slid his hand under my hair, moved my hair off my shoulder and began to rub the back of my neck. I think it would have been fine if he hadn't mention how tense I was.
First uncomfortable feeling for me.
So I tell him that it tickles me and to please stop. Which he did, for a minute. But came back and started doing it again. It took me to grab his hand, with force, and put it back on his lap for him to stop. We are sitting there now, in silence, and I begin to think, this is going nowhere. But, instead of allowing my mind to take everything to the negative side, I say to him, "So what do you want to do?"
He tells me, "Lets go to land of wood", which was his hometown.
I was shocked. He told me he was fine with going to my neighborhood, because I was comfortable with that and we would grab some drinks. You know, keep it mellow. So it really threw me for him to say that.
So, of course, I tell him, "I am not going to land of wood".
"Why"", he asked.
"Um, hello. Because when I asked you what you wanted to do, I meant which place did you want to go get drinks at. And, I have never been to Land of Woods before, and sorry, but I'm not going to start tonight".
He drops it and starts talking about Christmas and his daughters favorite song. He tells me a couple of funny stories that happened at work and I'm thinking things are getting back on the right track.
He then reaches over and takes my hand in his, it seemed sweet. But then, he proceeds to talk about going to his town again. I'm totally rolling my eyes and telling him no. Because he MUST be joking right? I mean, you already asked twice and twice I said no. So he can't really be asking seriously….right?
He tells another funny story. I laughed and the next thing I know, he went from sitting in the seat, to stretching his body over his seat, over my center console to kiss me. I'm stunned, but decided to roll with it--not really sure why though, but it's what I did.
Well now he is right in my face, staring into my eyes saying, "Come on, lets go get some drinks and you can stay the night at my house".
I back up as far as I could. "What?"
He said, "Come on. We will go to my town, go to a couple of bars and you can stay at my house".
I said to him, "I already told you, I am not looking to just hook up with someone. I want more. No, I am not going to your town and I'm not going to stay at your house."
He says, "ok" and starts to kiss me again.
This time it was painfully obvious that he was trying to change my mind with this kiss, not just kiss me for good kissing sake. So I stop the kiss.
He looks at me and says, "really"?
And I say, "Yes, really".
He gave me this look like, are you really saying no to ME? He stays close to my face.
Staring into my eyes, he tries again. "Come on, it will be fun. I know we had plans, but what's wrong with breaking them? Why not be spontaneous for once. Come on, I feel like getting some drinks. If you don't want to stay at my house, I'll get you a hotel room."
And when he said "hotel room" it was filled with sarcasm and annoyance. Like, it was so lame for me to get a hotel room, if I could just sleep at his house.
It was complete confusion for me.
All of the conversations he and I had had up to this point was all about how we both were looking for something more then just a hook up, how he wasn't the type of guy to be pushy and wanted to make sure I felt comfortable, he was all about honesty and being able to talk things out and blah blah blah blah blah. Because now here we were: in my car, him practically on top of me being pushy and not giving a fuck that I was uncomfortable, lol. I am sorry, I am totally laughing right now as I write this.
He, in the process of him saying "hotel room" with such annoyance, his lips are on top of mine again.
I feel his hand on my knee and it starts to slide it up my inner thigh! I was like, WHAT THE FUCK?! I push him off.
"Yeah, that is soo not what I thought it was going to be. It's time to call it a night."
He lets out a big sigh. But then he got this joker grin on his face and he asks, "So…are you going to call me"?
WHAT?!
I am still trying to process what just went down and did he seriously just ask me if I was going to call him? Wow.
The only thing I could do was look at him with my mouth wide open, my nose crinkled and my eyebrows narrowed down and with overly expressed sarcasm I say, "OH…I don't know".
His reaction?
"What? Really? Like you really have to think about it huh".
He thought I was serious!
He seriously thought I didn't know if I was going to call him.
Wow.
Moron.
I didn't say anything. I just starred at him, waiting for him to get out of my car.
The 20 seconds it took him to get out of my car and into his own, I sat there in complete confusion. I like could NOT believe all that went down. I then could feel him staring at me from his car. When I finally looked over before driving away, he gives me this facial expression that I cannot explain and blows a kiss to me!
I couldn't fucking believe it. All I could do was shake my head and drive away.
After I left the douche bag, I called my best friend. One minute into our conversation I started to cry. Which shocked me! I didn't feel like I was going to cry, my nose didn't get tingling before it does when I cry…I...just...cried. I even told her that I couldn't fucking believe that I crying. She said it was shock, and I'm incline to agree with her.
Here's how our conversation went:
me: omfg you wont believe what just happened
her: uh oh, what happened
me: tell her the story
her: what? um…uh….what?!
me: yeah…confused much? cause i know i am
her: wow, i did not expect that at all..
me: I know right? like..what the fuck just happened?
her: i…i don't even know what to say, wow.
me: yeah, like im so confused right now. did he really think i was going to give him any? like I told him over and over again---hey, im not doing this. So if this is what you want, look somewhere else.
her:well props to him for giving a good game. cause I would have never thought that of him. there were NO signs. wow…
me:totally, props to him, he has a good game. and I would have never thought too. like a completely different person
her:well shit dude…he game is good, but not THAT good. Or else he would have gotten it from you
me:lol. true story. good game, you got me to the ballgame, but you couldn't make any plays
her: lmao, I bet you he isn't used to be told no
me: you know what, I totally feel that.
her: so here is the dude, who thinks he is so suave and gets you to meet him, then tries over and over again for you to do what he wants and you were just like. NOPE.
me, lol. he was a cutie. so i can see that…
her: well he didn't meet a little girl tonight. he met his first woman. you basically told him that you didn't give a fuck about what he thought or wanted.
me: wow, you're right
her: totally dude. like, he is obviously a player, and good at his game. and im sure most girls, if he is cuter then his picture, cause he a cutie in his pic, and if that didn't give him justice, then im sure he has pulled this off many times before. but not with you. you were like, fuck no im not doing anything that i already told you i wasn't going to do, check mate mother fucker-lol.
me:LMFAO!
her: hahahahaha! seriously, you handled yourself, and he is just a little slut.
me: yeah, i know. just shocking. like, its fucking crazy that he really thought he could change my mind, lol
her: well he just doesn't know you
me: i love you. thank you. what a fucking night, lol
her. love you too. seriously go home and smoke and write this. you have to write this and make it another chapter in your book.
me: thats exactly what i am going to do. write it out.
I received a text at 8:12am the next morning-
Good Morning.
Oh….My…..Goodness, what a fucking idiot.
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